SPAM! The “Finest” and “Classiest” Messages You Will Ever Hear

I get spam emails on a hourly basis. I mean, TONS of spam. I get spam in my inbox in gmail, my email from school, and in my spam folder in all of my 15 email accounts. SPAM sucks, I say. It’s time consuming to go through them and they can be quite offensive, actually! In this blog post, I will share with you some of the mot amusing SPAM messages I received This month. Are you ready for this? Be ready! It will be weird.

The joins of technology! SPAM, SPAM, and more SPAM. Here we go.

1. “𝑭𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝑴𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝑭𝑹𝑬𝑬 𝒐𝒏 Get Started for free on the #1 trusted dating website.”

Dr. A’s response: I’m married! HELLO! ???? Do you offer anything else for free?   

2. “I want you! I sent you my photo. Do you want to chat with me? Yes or no?”

Dr. A’s response:  Hmmm… you have good taste to like me but no thanks. 🙂

3. “Get Lifetime Access to Trade Partner at just USD 250 — Your access fee has been removed, so, your full membership benefits are completely free. The fee returns next week, so, it makes sense to use your free membership now before you have to pay. Activation only takes a minute. You will be approved straight away and your account will receive money not long after. Just click here to begin. We wish you every success. Regards, Sandra D.”

Dr. A’s response: HAHAHAHA, okay. Next please. 

4. “Hi, I wanted to reach out and ask if you’re happy with your website right now or if there are things you’d like to change.  Do you have any upgrades that you’ve been thinking about making, or possibly a redesign?  I’m a very talented web developer and I can create just about anything you want.  Let me know what you think. Kind regards, Christopher.”

Dr. A’s response:  I’m sure you are, brother. I do teach web design though. Thank you for the offer. Good luck! 

5. “I’m married but need you! Pictures and videos from Sarah. I’m waiting on you.”

Dr. A’s response:  This SPAM is so flattering! Am I the sexiest man in the world or what? HAHAHA. Next. 

6. “Hi There, Greetings of the Day! Not sure my previous email reached you. Respect your engagements perhaps due to which you are unable to reply. This was to gently seek suitable timeframe when you are ready for the discussion. Are you looking for affordable and customized website designing services to make your business presence out of the web-crowd? Your Business website needs to be SEO friendly in order to achieve profit gaol. We offer comprehensive website solution to turn your Business into a well-known Brand. With our examined Organic SEO tricks, you can easily build & retain your website ranking on the top of search list. If you want to make your website up-to-the-minute, then provide us your contact details and web requirement. Thanks & Regards, Gauri Gupta”

Dr. A’s response: How do you achieve a profit gaol? You said, “This was to gently seek suitable timeframe when you are ready…” What? 

7. “This tiny pill really can increase your intelligence. Now Available – The Most Powerful Brain Enhancer on the Planet! This tiny pill really can increase your intelligence! Meet the pill that increased intelligence. Improve memory, focus, cognitive ability. Top Intelligence boosting formula reviewed. This tiny pill really can increase your intelligence. See How This Raises Brain Performance. Secret Brain Pill Billionaires Are Using.”

Dr. A’s response: I knew that the millionaires had an untold secret! “This Tiny Pill!” I need something to increase my intelligence, you?  

8. “Luis, you awake?  I am thinking about you this morning… …and want to share something that may interest you here (especially if you have tried to succeed but failed miserably). Check it out and let me know your feedback (click me). To your success, Jeremy.”

Dr. A’s response: Are we done yet? 

9. “The Search For Your Girl is Over! You want to play with me! Mia, 24 years old.. Build: Slim… Height: 163cm… Distance To City: 14 Kilometers. View here sexy photos.”

Dr. A’s response: Mia, shouldn’t you be either in school or working somewhere? 

10. “Watch: 1 Odd Trick That Can Destroy The Diabetes Industry (Try This Tonight)…” [Cut by Dr. A]

Dr. A’s response: You Don’t Want To Hear About This, trust me. 

11. “INHERITANCE PROPOSAL! Attention!!! I have an important business discussion I wish to share with you which I believe will interest you, because it is in connection with your last name and you are going to benefit from it, please get back to me ASAP. Thanks, Steven, Chief Financial Officer.”

Dr. A’s response: Am I going to be a multi-millionaire today? Hahaha. I wish. 

12. “Sell or Trade In your iPhone X for $50 to earn a 10% off coupon. A reward to treat yourself to any of the millions of items in the marketplace. Offer available now through 10/9. Terms apply! Happy selling.”

Dr. A’s response: I’m tired. It’s 12:45am. I need to go to sleep. 

Tomorrow is another day, thank goodness! And no, I didn’t respond to any of these emails. Are you crazy?

🙂