Be Selective: Only The Very Best Should Join Your Inner Circle…

I say this because a person’s social capital is as valuable if not more valuable than a person’s human capital. Sometimes is not how much you know but who you know, or hall we say… who knows you! Your inner circle is one of the most valuable assets you gave in life. Don’t let anything destroy what you got or give the impression that your network is not of any value or both.

Building a quality network of any kind is difficult, time consuming and can be quite expensive to build. For those reasons and more, be selective: only the very best should join your inner circle. Remember: In this life, people will judge you according to the people you associate yourself with, regardless of which philosophy of life you end up adopting. Build your inner circle with care.

You can be nice to people yet protecting your space, privacy, and network. Choose your friends very carefully. Why? This is why… Look at what the bible teaches us about friendship.

1. “The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray” (Proverbs 12:26).

2. “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend” (Proverbs 12:26).

3. “Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble” (Proverbs 13:20). 

6.  “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24). 

7. Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33).

8. “A violent person entices their neighbor and leads them down a path that is not good” (Proverbs 16:29). 

9. “Do not be a friend of one who has a bad temper, and never keep company with a hothead, or you will learn his ways and set a trap for yourself” (Proverbs 22:24-25). 

10. “Now, what I meant was that you should not associate with people who call themselves brothers or sisters in the Christian faith but live in sexual sin, are greedy, worship false gods, use abusive language, get drunk, or are dishonest. Don’t eat with such people” (1 Corinthians 5:11). 

I admit — I used to let more people enter my inner circle. What a big mistake I made for many years. Thank goodness, the former is now history and it won’t be repeated again. Prove me that you deserve to be my friend, is my new motto now. I recommend that you do the same, for your own sake.

After thinking critically about this issue this past July, I came to the realization that most of my misfortunes in life were based on letting a person (or a group of people) have access to some of my intellectual property and care without really deserving to have them. I clearly violated a very important lesson I’ve learned from the author Robert Greene, “Never put too much trust in friends” and the many teaching of the bible due to pity on others.  I have a soft heart for those in need…

In order to control for the a possible strife, which inevitably happens to the best of us, you should be very careful with who enters your network. Selectivity is a must. Get to know people in great detail before allowing them to have access to your brain. You will realize that not too many people you know deserves to have access to your insights, especially if they need your knowledge more than you.

Human beings can be sneaky, self-serving, egoistic and evil. From a Christian standpoint, the former can even be a manifestation of the devil in people, I think. “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8). “By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?” (Matthew 7:16). 

Keep your eyes open and be very selective with who is allowed to know you and your network. Don’t rush… take your time in the selection process.  Things that are truly great in life, e.g., the development of a person to maturity, college degree completion, a successful startup that was founded with little capital, a swimmer’s achievement of a gold medal in the Olympics…  take time.
Listen carefully to this one. Always keep your eyes open.